Saturday, May 13, 2017

The Box

It has been more than five years since I wrote here...but in these five years, I've returned to this blog many a wanderer returns home...maybe with the hope for inspiration to start writing again...

I miss spending my solitary evenings, just me with my thoughts, where I used to be alone but never lonely, a feeling of peace & tranquility...where my ideas and my thoughts flew effortlessly, where my mind & my soul were inseparable...where my imagination knew no bounds...trying to pen down a piece of my imagination...just for me...

I miss that time when it was just me with my thoughts, where I used to be alone but never lonely...I used to write whatever comes to my mind...sometimes, it was funny...sometimes, it was thought-provoking...mostly, it only made sense to me...sometimes it was plain gibberish...but, it was always sincere...

I like being in that phase, in that place, at that time...looking for inspiration from the past 'me'...maybe I'm dwelling on my past...or maybe I am just passing time...I like that person...the past 'me'...he has a huge potential, he can accomplish so much...he is amazing...I am in awe...maybe a little jealous...

And today, years later, I sit here, just me, with my thoughts...alone but not lonely
...but there is a difference today...I feel uneasy...I'm not sure thoughts are jumbled, my ideas are restricted, my imagination has been defined by a range...

I feel like I'm in a box...

There is a hint of negative is engulfing me like a fog...I'm not able to see clearly, I'm not able to think clearly...

This person who is very close to me noticed my discomfort & asked me...but I couldn't express myself...I couldn't explain what I am feeling...I need an outlet...I need to find my strength...

I look around and find an old diary lying on a dusty is the diary where I used to write my thoughts years is full of my raw thoughts and ideas...I look around frantically to find a pen...I open a fresh leaf and start writing...

"It has been more than five years since I wrote here..."

I feel like I've opened the box...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

It was Dark..!!

It was dark.

A 19 year old boy was dashing up the stairs. He knew he had 11 more floors to cover before he reached the top. Each floor had exactly 21 steps. He did quick math. It meant 231 steps which would roughly take him 3 minutes. He was slowing down, but he pushed harder to maintain his speed. He did not want to want to use the lift. As he swept past the 5th floor, he felt a sharp pull in his left hamstring. It had been long since he ran so fast. He fought the pain as he sprinted through the corridors. He was filled with so much anger and frustration that there was no more scope to feel the pain. He knew that this pain was just temporary. It would all end at the end of this journey. And he wanted it to end as soon as possible.

4 minutes later, he pushed open the old door. It seemed that no one had been here in quite some time. He stood there motionless, his hands on his knees, gasping for breath, staring at infinity. He started walking through the patio, still looking at beyond. He was on the terrace of a well-known public school of Bernalia. It was dusty and messed up. Nobody came up here often enough to keep the place clean. It was more of a storage area. He looked at his clothes. He was wearing a white shirt, smothered with dust and sweat and navy blue pants. His tie was loosely hanging around his neck and his collar button was missing.

Overflowing with agony and despair, he walked towards the edge of the patio. Images began to flash in front of his eyes. A couple was having a heated argument, a young boy clutching his score card and sobbing profusely, a young girl threw a stem of rose and stepped over it as she walked away. He could almost hear her footsteps fading away, synchronizing with his heartbeat which was growing louder.

‘This is it’ he thought, ‘the moment where it all ends.’

He had always imagined himself dying a very old man surrounded by the people he loved the most. But this was nowhere close to that. This was the path cowards chose, he was well aware of the fact, yet he saw no other alternative. He stopped just a few inches from the edge. For a moment he considered going back. He closed his eyes and the same visuals began streaming in front of his eyes. He knew that it wasn’t bearable for him anymore.

Now his toes were off the edge like a cantilever. His mind went into panic mode, desperately searching for reasons to carry on, reasons to withdraw, but he found none. He looked up and said “I am, sorry. I did all that I could.”

At this very instant, he felt a light gush of wind in his face. A shadow appeared from behind the door. The shadow said in a startled voice “Wait.”

The young boy almost lost his balance while turning around, but miraculously found his both feet on solid ground. He moved a couple of steps away from the edge and scanned the shadow head to toe. He looked at a very old man. He had a tall frame, long white hair, untrimmed white beard, long brown robe which was wrapped around his height and old pair of brown slippers. He was probably an old employee of the school. His face was unusually calm, given the situation. His look of his eyes brought placidity in the boy’s agony and distress.

“Who are you?” the young boy asked in a shaky voice.

“Is that relevant?” the old man replied. Then he continued “I am Gesu. But the question is what are you doing?”

“What do you think?” he snapped back.

“I think you’re making a big mistake.”

“Nobody really cares. Please leave me alone.”

“I’ll do exactly that. But before that, I’d like you to hear me out” Gesu requested.

“Ok, but only if you promise to leave me alone and don’t you try to come near me. I’ll jump” the young boy threatened.

Gesu nodded with a smile and started to talk “I know this feeling very well. It’s funny how these thoughts were incepted into your head. The first time you considered it, you felt unsure, indecisive and hesitant. Then as the idea grows, it starts to feel scary. However strange, dark or mysterious it may sound, the idea ultimately takes over you.”

The young boy was initially not interested, but now he was relating to Gesu’s words.

“The idea of death would seed itself after a horrible tragedy in your life and gradually it becomes the solution to all the little things that makes your life unbearable. Whenever you face a problem, you’ll find solace in the thought of ending it all, once and for all,” the old man continued, “unbearable”, he pressed on the word and continued, “but is it really unbearable?”

 There was a long silence and Gesu stared into the young boy’s eyes for a while and then continued “You must be thinking that ‘my parents don’t get along, my grades are plunging, a girl does not reciprocate to my feelings. Maybe I’ll kill myself and put an end to it.’ Put an end to what my son. Your parents would still fight as much. You’d just give them another reason. Frankly speaking, the girl in question doesn’t care if you’re dead or alive. Well, actually you’ll not have to deal with your grades anymore. But is it really worth? Putting an end to your life so that you don’t have to face your score card? You’re joking with me, right? Or yourself?”

Gesu stepped back and said “I’m now gonna leave you with your thoughts.” He pointed downwards and said sarcastically “You stand at the cross-roads. You can either take this path of glory or stand strong on your ground and fight. Learn from these experiences, don’t make the mistakes that your parents made, spend a little more time with your books and watch your grades take-off. And as far as the girl is concerned,” Gesu paused for a second, then winked and continued, “live your life to the fullest and along the way, you’ll meet a dame who’ll value you, respect you and love you more than anyone in the world.”

Gesu turned to walk back into the darkness from where he had emerged. He stopped at the door; turned back for one last time and said “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” And walked away.

The young boy stared in amazement. He closed his eyes, as if realizing the mistake that he was just about to make. He walked away from the edge and then like the bolt from the sky, it hit him, ‘how did Gesu know about my parents, my score card and Adriana?’ For full 10 seconds, he stood there motionless, like a rock. Then with all his might, he sprinted towards the door which was still ajar. He went inside, looked around and called out “Gesu”, and then with a little hesitation, he followed it with “senor.”

There was no reply. He strained hard to hear footsteps, but all he could hear was the faint humming of the generators on the ground floor. He went back to the patio. His mind was running fast, in all directions, searching for an explanation of what had just happened with him.

‘Was it a dream? Was he spying on me? Was he following me?’ his mind looked for all sorts of logical explanations, but he knew, none of them was fitting and nothing was making sense.
He closed his eyes and recalled the words ‘Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.’

And there was light.


The name of this young boy was Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso, also known as Pablo Picasso.
He was a Spanish painter,sculptor, ceramicist and stage designer.

Pablo Picasso
25 Oct 1881 – 8 April 1973

Note:  This is a work of pure fiction, any resemblance with anybody, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Life in a Metro

This one is about the Delhi Metro. For those who felt that the title is a bit misleading, I would suggest you look into our government’s taxation policies. Coming back quickly to the main topic, this one is about what’s hidden in plain sight and beyond….inside a metro of course.

Ever since I’ve started working (it’s been a little more than a year), I have travelled in the Metro a lot. Its not really world class, as they claim, but I’d say that it’s not as poorly managed as the rest of the capital’s public transport system. Is it just a matter of time? Well, only time can tell. On the contrary, I feel that a ride in the Delhi Metro is quite entertaining. For me, it is.

The one thing I never fail to miss when I travel in the Metro is a middle aged man suffering from a mid-life crisis, talking on the phone so loudly, that he would do perfectly fine without it. This man is nearly shouting into his phone. It’s okay for about 3 minutes and 21 seconds, but after that, I feel a strong urge to go up to him, slap his bald head as tightly as I can and shout “TA DAAA.”

And you hit the real jackpot when you’re anywhere near a fighting couple. They fight over the most amazing things like, “why did you keep the phone before me, last night?” It becomes extremely difficult to suppress your bursting laughter and in the hind-sight, it teaches you self-control. That couple would provide you with a stock of jokes for the rest of the week.

Now, let’s rewind a bit, and go to the pre-entry security check, which, by the way, I think is a complete formality. I can easily carry a weapon to the platform without any of the security guard noticing. The trick here is, to keep the weapon in your hand!! Confused? They scan your whole body with their so-called Metal Detector, but they will never check your hands. NEVER!!!

I have a complaint against the Delhi Metro. They should have fully trained security guards at these check-points. During one such security check, a guard (who was probably new to the idea of using a metal detector) accidently hit my crotch with that device. OUCH!!
You know, that awkward moment, when a security guard attacks your privates, and you’re not even a TERRORIST…!!

Moving on now, to a cold foggy morning, when I’m standing on the platform, looking out to the end of the track, where a metro will end my long wait. And there it emerges from the fog, like a unicorn is running on the clouds. Its about one kilometer away from me, dashing towards me as I feel hope. Actually, I feel hope-lessly praying that I get a seat for myself. I don’t like to stand early in the morning, even if it is a 15 minute ride. But, what I like or not, is of no importance, because, with an exception of zero days, I never manage to get myself seated.

And as I stand there, looking around, I see ‘No Smiles’. Nobody seems to be having fun, nobody seems to be happy. I feel some sort of sadness trying to get a grip on me. And just before, its gets to me, the doors open with a beep and I am pushed out with the crowd.

I know exactly what we need – A little more ‘Spirit’

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Nature's way: I think I'll pass on that..!!

Please forgive me if this post gets a little bizzare, because I'm drinking as I write this. What !! Apple juice can intoxicate you.
This incident occured a couple of days ago as I got out of my car at my company's car parking, I saw the most beautiful sight. Approximately, 4.5734 feet away from where I was standing, I saw a crow and a mouse making love. It was as if 'Mother Nature' had herself directed this beautiful scene. I almost started imagining what their offspring would look like. At this exact moment, the mouse stopped moving. And when I took a closer look, it turned out, that it was the same old story with the same old climax. The crow was ripping apart the mouse with its beak.
That's alright. That is Mother Nature for you, right?
I mean the mouse was having a quite day in the sewers of Gurgaon (the existence of which is widey debated), and probably a sudden hunger pang made it seek the light of day. Maybe, he was crossing the street with outmost care so he does not get runover by a car. Moving very carefully towards a garbage buffet, watching his every step, unaware of what fate had decided for him. He didn't deserve to get killed. He was in the prime of his life, he most probably had a family to support. He did not deserve a big black beak feasting on his intestines right in the middle of the street in broad daylight.
Too dramatic??
But come to think of it, how is it any different from young students dissecting a mouse in their biology laboratories, doing experiments, the results of which are already known.

Trust me when I say this, Mother Nature is a very Cruel Lady.

I stand corrected. Cruel and funny.
"Survival of the fittest" a term coined by Herbert Spencer after reading Charles Darwin's "Origin of Species".
Why trust him, he was an idiot, not to mention, he was a racist of the highest order. Sir Francis Galton (Darwin's cousin), founder of the Eugenics Movement, which advocates the use of practices aimed at improving the genetic composition of the population by extermination of undesired population groups (blacks).
How does that relate?? Well, he was Darwin's cousin. They would have at least some similar genes. This is exactly how Darwin's theory works. Its totally baseless!!
Well not completely baseless on 2nd thoughts. Today, its more like "Survival of the Richest".
Earlier, if you wanted a chicken soup, you'd have to catch a chicken first, but now you can just order it. Its that simple and only rich can afford it.
Below is a conversation between a female patient with an acute case of gout and a doctor's assistant from "NotAlways"
Assistant: ”Hello, this is Dr. ***’s office. Can I help you?”

Patient: “Yeah, is there an injection I can get for my gout?”

Assistant: ”I don’t think so. I think we only give injections for muscle pain, but I can double-check for you.”

Patient: “Yeah, check. I’m going away this weekend and my ankle really hurts. My primary doctor says it’s not
gout. I had these lab tests done, and they all say it’s not gout, but it really hurts.”

Assistant: “If it's not gout, then why do you want to know about a gout injection?”

Patient: “Well, they say it’s not gout, but I was at a bar and a guy looked at it and said, ‘That’s gout, all right!’”

Assistant: “… a guy at the bar?”

Patient: “Yeah. And he gave me one of his pills and it really helped.”

Assistant: “You took a pill from some guy in a bar?!”

Patient: “Yeah, it really helped and it was gout medicine, so I think I have gout. So is there an injection?”

Assistant: “Hold, please.”

(At this point, the assistant goes ask her manager if a gout injection exists, which it doesn’t, and explain to her the situation. She agrees that this is completely stupid, but that if the woman wants gout medication, we can prescribe it.)

Assistant: “Thanks for holding. Turns out there’s no injection for gout.”

Patient: “Really? My ankle’s killing me.”

Assistant: “Well, if the medicine you took worked for you, we may be able to write you a prescription for it.”

Patient: “Oh, I already have a prescription.”

Assistant: “You… already have a prescription that stops your pain? Are you taking it?”

Patient: “No, I thought an injection might be faster.”

Assistant: *long pause* “Is there anything else you need today?”

Patient: “No, thank you.” *click*

Assistant: “Oh. My God.”

Now this woman might not be the fittest, but I do hope that she survives..!!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Love- As you call it..!!

"Love makes the world go round. Big deal! Whisky makes it go round twice as fast." -Compton Mackenzie.
Wherever you go, you are highly likely to encounter "couples" or "love birds", as some may prefer this synonym.
Be it classrooms, workplaces, malls, flea markets, roadsides, bushes, et al. The possibilities are endless. I think I missed the coffee shops.  Actually that is what this story is all about.
Just spare a moment and look at these love-lorn insects. When you spot them together, they have the most serious expressions on their faces, as if they're debating  the global economic meltdown, or the Libyan Civil War. Actually, their discussions are more on the lines of, "are UFOs real?"
What?? This is a very serious issue. Last week, a popular news channel showed that  aliens are abducting buffaloes because they want us to release their Mayawati.
That's just ridiculous..!! You can't trade Mayawati for buffaloes. Maybe a hippopotamus!
Coming back to focus now. I wanna share an incident that happened with me very recently. In fact, it was so recent that I feel its happening right now.
While waiting for a friend at a coffee shop, I had the opportunity to observe a couple. Ok, I'll be modest. I just overheard their conversation. Not that I had any other option. The place was empty, the television was not working and they were so freakin' loud. A cute looking couple otherwise. One of them sported a wolverine-like beard, and the guy had really long hair. Wait a sec...ah, whatever! The conversation is given below and I feel its only fair to let you know that the names have been changed, because I didn't catch their original names!
I've written what they said in plain text and in brackets; what they probably meant.
Sushant: I know that you're going around with someone else. (Even if you're not, I am)
Nidhi: That is so not true. (I mean, not just with one)
Sushant: Then who was that guy, I overheard in the background while talking to you on the phone last night (While I was driving to my new girlfriend's place)
Nidhi: He was my cousin. (HA, you wish)
Sushant: I don't know where has the love gone. (Actually I do. I'll throw you out of the window and sing, 'love is in the air')
Nidhi: Look into my eyes. What do you see? (Dare you talk about my dark circles)
Sushant: I don't know. (2 brown circles with big black dots in the center)
Nidhi: Please don't leave me, ever. (Who'll get my recharge done?)
Sushant: Ok. Now you swear by me that you're not dating Ashish {this name has not been changed}.
Nidhi: Of course not. He's like a brother to me.
At this exact moment I turned to look at them, and saw that she had her hand behind her back and the middle finger was over-lapping her index finger.
I wonder what that means...!!

Monday, April 11, 2011


Note: This is a work of pure fiction. Any resemblance to any incidence is purely coincidental.

I'm a 23 year old guy and my life is not anything that I thought it to be. It just seems like I’m travelling in a dark tunnel and have no idea where my life is taking me. And this is how it all started.

I was about 2 years old and I was out in the evening at our community park and I was accompanied with my mum. When these 3 girls (they use to talk amongst themselves like a bunch of sparrows were fighting) came over to us and said to my mum “oh, how cute, what’s her name?”

And then the day came when my girlfriend came up to me and complained that she was feeling suffocated by my clinginess and that I should learn to give her space. This was a couple of days after she complained that I wasn’t giving her enough attention.

It was time for my end semester examination. Mathematics has never been my subject (I wonder why I decided to become an engineer). And I had a terrible exam. Right after I completed my paper, as I was about to submit my answer book, I did something that I’m not too proud of and I regret it to this day. I swapped my roll number with the person sitting next to me. After about a month when the result came out, I got to know that he passed and I flunked in that subject.

One particular night while I was having my dinner, I started thinking about my next facebook status. That’s when I realized that I needed to get a life.

This one happened recently. The company I work for stopped using the air-conditioner as they decided to “go green”. It is currently 43 degrees at my desk.

And now I think about my life, I realize that I was an honours student throughout school who was expected to go far in life and after a year of completing my graduation in mechanical, I’m working in a small firm in the marketing department handling purchases, working on Saturdays apart from the overtime and all I’m getting paid is nuts.
Seriously man, FML!!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Devil Inside

All of us have a demonic side to our souls and there are times when it tries to Bettye better of us. The trick is to over come the demons with the angels. Just like the 2 sides of a coin, we have 2 sides to our souls. But the sides are biased. It is not a fair fight. The demonic side always tries to be on top of the angelic side. We can control our demons, but more often than not we choose to let it go. We give in to our temptations and forget about the after effects.
The devil is alive and well in this world today. We, humans create our own hell as the devil is inside each of us.
As they say "a moment of madness and a lifetime of regret."
It is that devil which surfaces in that moment of madness. The rape case on Shiney Ahuja was a classic example.
We at each our own devil and we make this world our hell.
Believe in yourself but don't trust the Devil Inside you.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Dreams & Beyond- A Flipsyde

We live in dreams, but are we it's prisoners?
Dreams are like engines pushing us forward. We dream of anything that'll make us happy.
Usually our dreams change dramatically as life goes on. Dreams need not be about getting something new or about material things. Many people who suffer from adversity simply dream of a normal life.
Reality is not just about success & realized dreams, it is also about discomfort and at times sadness. We cannot evade life by hiding behind our dreams.
Some dreams never come true. Countless people have lost everything and have ruined their lives chasing an unrealistic dream.
Dreams involve a paradox: "If we want a dream to come true, we must give up dreaming."
We cannot control our lives, no matter how hard we try.
The genuine freedom can come only by dreaming without hope, by being willing to lose everything- even our dreams...

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Mental Block

Have you ever seen a giant elephant in a circus aren atied to a wooden post? Most of us are like this hapless creature. It can pick up 1000 kilos with its trunk, yet it calmly stays tied. ever wondered why? When the elephant was just a baby, and not very strong, it was tied with a huge chain to an iron rod that could not be moved. regardless of how hard it tried, it could not break the chain and run free. After a while it just gave up. Later when it became strong,it never attempted to break free. The imprint is permanent. "I can't! I can't!" it tells itself. there are millions of us who behave like a circus elephant. they have been bounded, tied and told "you'll never make it", so many times they actually believe they can't. they may have dreams, but the 'imprinting' keeps pulling them back. Resolve to remove the mental shackels and see what you can acieve.

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