Life in a Metro

This one is about the Delhi Metro. For those who felt that the title is a bit misleading, I would suggest you look into our government’s taxation policies. Coming back quickly to the main topic, this one is about what’s hidden in plain sight and beyond….inside a metro of course.

Ever since I’ve started working (it’s been a little more than a year), I have travelled in the Metro a lot. Its not really world class, as they claim, but I’d say that it’s not as poorly managed as the rest of the capital’s public transport system. Is it just a matter of time? Well, only time can tell. On the contrary, I feel that a ride in the Delhi Metro is quite entertaining. For me, it is.

The one thing I never fail to miss when I travel in the Metro is a middle aged man suffering from a mid-life crisis, talking on the phone so loudly, that he would do perfectly fine without it. This man is nearly shouting into his phone. It’s okay for about 3 minutes and 21 seconds, but after that, I feel a strong urge to go up to him, slap his bald head as tightly as I can and shout “TA DAAA.”

And you hit the real jackpot when you’re anywhere near a fighting couple. They fight over the most amazing things like, “why did you keep the phone before me, last night?” It becomes extremely difficult to suppress your bursting laughter and in the hind-sight, it teaches you self-control. That couple would provide you with a stock of jokes for the rest of the week.

Now, let’s rewind a bit, and go to the pre-entry security check, which, by the way, I think is a complete formality. I can easily carry a weapon to the platform without any of the security guard noticing. The trick here is, to keep the weapon in your hand!! Confused? They scan your whole body with their so-called Metal Detector, but they will never check your hands. NEVER!!!

I have a complaint against the Delhi Metro. They should have fully trained security guards at these check-points. During one such security check, a guard (who was probably new to the idea of using a metal detector) accidently hit my crotch with that device. OUCH!!
You know, that awkward moment, when a security guard attacks your privates, and you’re not even a TERRORIST…!!

Moving on now, to a cold foggy morning, when I’m standing on the platform, looking out to the end of the track, where a metro will end my long wait. And there it emerges from the fog, like a unicorn is running on the clouds. Its about one kilometer away from me, dashing towards me as I feel hope. Actually, I feel hope-lessly praying that I get a seat for myself. I don’t like to stand early in the morning, even if it is a 15 minute ride. But, what I like or not, is of no importance, because, with an exception of zero days, I never manage to get myself seated.

And as I stand there, looking around, I see ‘No Smiles’. Nobody seems to be having fun, nobody seems to be happy. I feel some sort of sadness trying to get a grip on me. And just before, its gets to me, the doors open with a beep and I am pushed out with the crowd.

I know exactly what we need – A little more ‘Spirit’